Personal Development – Lesson Six

The language of the mind is trapped in time – The body is always speaking but who’s listening?

 

All types of non-verbal communication are observable if we only pay attention and see the patterns

This lesson has two exercises that build upon lessons two and four.

In the card game of poker, there is a specific type of body language called the “Tell”. This is important to know because it is a form of involuntary communication involving subtle behaviors that the subconscious expresses without one’s knowledge or consent. Tells can reveal some of the types of thoughts, emotions, and intentions someone is expressing. Developing self and spatial awareness and enhancing observation skills in this area can help unlock this somewhat foreign language.

There are vast amounts of secret information being expressed by each of us all the time. Who is paying attention? What are we saying that we are unaware of? What can others see about us we cannot see in ourselves? How do we learn to read and understand this language? How will it help in life or business? Can anyone learn it? So many questions about non-verbal communication and quite a bit of information is available on the subject. Do an internet search and you’ll see lots of books, videos, help guides, and tutorials.

What does it mean when someone wears a certain color clothing or styles their hair in specific ways? What do the types and styles of clothing, cologne, and perfume say about us? How do speech patterns and body postures express confidence and competence versus insecurities and vulnerabilities? What does it all mean?

Ever stop to consider why some children and even adults take longer than others to stop sucking their thumbs? Or, those who develop subtle to more obvious automated nervous behaviors like touching the face or other parts of the body, flicking or snapping fingers, biting fingernails, tapping toes or feet, excessive blinking, or scratching parts of the body uncontrollably?

This generally occurs when the body is processing some form of self-induced or external physical and social environmental stress which involuntarily reveals itself through anxious and nervous behaviors. The patterns of movement are subtle to obvious but are necessary energy pressure release activities. Much in the same way a dog cools down their body, shows stress, or pain by breathing through its mouth with its tongue out. These are automated ways for the body to express physical movements that allow it to release pent up nervous energy or pain. Unchecked nervous energy from continued anxiety and stress over time can cause inflammation which can develop into various types of illness. These behaviors and so much more are part of our non-verbal communication. If we observe ourselves and others enough over time we will begin to see patterns of behavior emerge. These patterns reveal general to specific information about a person’s life. They can also reveal our needs, wants, desires, purpose, and intent. Whether it’s phobias, likes, and dislikes, clothing, colors, moods, or tells, they are part of a language that speaks volumes about how our past and some current environmental conditions are influencing the present which will involuntarily and subtly influence and impact our future.

In order to change our future to something more desirable that enhances the quality of life, we have to pay attention to those areas of our life we hardly if ever focus on. In this way, we can better understand what our body is saying to us and others versus what we think about ourselves.

Our perceptions of reality are generally myopic and heavily influenced by our past influences which express themselves as automated thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

As we learn more about how incredible and capable we are as a species, we elevate our consciousness in equal proportions. As stated earlier in the course this elevation in awareness and consciousness allows us the ability to perceive reality more accurately. This, in turn, helps us see and experience what is truly valuable about becoming a more enlightened human being.

As previously stated, this permits us to enjoy the highest of human traits on a consistent basis while learning or remembering something incredibly profound. While we are part of the experience and story it’s not completely about us. It is ultimately about what have we done today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our journey to enhance the quality of life for others.

 

The language of the mind is trapped in time – The body is always speaking but who’s listening?

This lesson will involve two field studies.

The first field study makes you the subject of observation.

If you do not have the means to use a video recording device to record yourself then continue to observe the involuntary behaviors of others. Please use the worksheet provided in the link below.

Please take this lesson seriously and apply scientific professionalism to achieve the best results. In most situations, you may be interacting with others. Make sure they are aware of the objectivity this lesson requires. The least amount of extraneous distractions the better.

*Please do not upload or post video recordings of others without their knowledge and consent. It is not respectful or appropriate to do so and may have legal ramifications in some jurisdictions.

There are three environment settings in which you are asked to record yourself over the next two weeks. Please try to record at least three to five times a week from 30 minutes to one-hour per recording session. Try to get at least one session per area of observation.

There is a link for the worksheet provided for this study that has five categories for the information you will fill out as you watch back your recording.

The categories are observed behavior, triggers, duration, and frequency, what do you think it means, and the origin of the behavior.

These category headings are not only self-explanatory but are designed to direct your focus on enhancing awareness and observation skills.

In the first observation study, you are asked to record yourself watching tv shows or movies that cause you to feel primary emotions such as love, laughter, anxiety, sadness, fear, or anger. As you watch, try to forget you are recording so you feel more engaged in the show or movie. If needed, have someone you trust video record you.

It may take 30 minutes or more in order for you to forget about the camera and focus on the movie. So set a timer for 30 minutes to an hour.

You will find a link to a worksheet provided in the link below. As you watch the recording of your behaviors take special note to any involuntary twitches, touching, scratching, tapping or other behaviors you observe. Fill out the worksheet with the observations.

The next area you are asked to record in will be a general living space you interact with the most like the kitchen, dining room or living room. You can place the video camera or phone on a tripod or lean it against an item in the area where it will catch you interacting with others and the environment. Make sure you make others aware of your recording before you start and get their consent. In this observation be natural and try to forget the camera is recording. Again, set a timer for at least 30 minutes to an hour.

The third area of observation asks you to video record yourself writing a list of three things you love about yourself and three things you really dislike about yourself. Start the video recorder and talk to yourself about each item on your list. This may take 30 minutes to an hour. When you get to the items you dislike try to experience more deeply the emotions they trigger in you. Make sure you have your notebook close by to write the triggered information down after the recording.

 

The primary objectives are to discover new things about yourself and subconscious communication while learning to identify the triggers and origins of the behaviors to apply the notebook exercise to remove those that are undesirable or dysfunctional.

Other ways to learn more about yourself would audio record yourself while you drive or travel with others. As well while you go for a walk and talk about your day and week. Automated negative self-talk is a problem most people experience. So it is worth addressing and correcting.

 

The language of the mind is trapped in time – The body is always speaking but who’s listening?

 

The second field study requires you to observe and make a list of all your behaviors throughout the day for seven days. If you can do this exercise for fourteen days even better.

You may develop a hand crap from all the writing. But, it will be worth the time and effort. So stock up on massage lotion.

The objective is for you to start paying attention to patterns of behaviors throughout your daily routine that may not be in your or other’s best interests.

Your task is to write down every part of your daily routine. This also includes trying to identify subtle automated behaviors and the time that all these behaviors take place. The frequency of behaviors is important to identify and note.

From waking up preparing for the day, breakfast if you have it, coffee or other drinks to where you went and what you had for lunch and dinner.

Don’t forget to note what time all of these events are taking place.

Take note of how often you take a break to get coffee, other drinks or snack breaks throughout the day.

Including bathroom breaks and how long it takes.

Observe and try to catch any noticeable changes in your body posture and mood when certain people are around you.

If you feel drowsy during the day what times of the day does this occur?

How do you interact with others throughout the day? List types of emotions and maybe thought patterns.

Were you kind, respectful, compassionate and maybe charitable or were you sharp in comments, disrespectful, insensitive, harsh or rude?

What routes do you take to go to school or work?

Finally, prepare yourself for bed.

Seeing all of this information in written form and if you can put it on a spreadsheet will help you better understand the larger picture of automation and structure that is your life.

You can break this down into two time frames by dividing the day in half. Start with the first eight hours of the day, then the second eight hours of the day.

At the end of the week, your task is to organize all of the first eight hour day pages and lay them out in a row. With another clean page or on a computer spreadsheet write down all the days and times similarities occur more than once during the week. Then write the similarities that occur more than three, four, five, etc… up to seven times during the week.

Pay attention to the frequency of these automated behaviors. You may discover that there are certain foods, drinks or self comments you make throughout the at specific times.

 

This will also help you refine your focus and search using the notebook exercise. After the first week of observation, you are asked to change the way you perform or express at least one pattern of behavior you discover on your list. Changing patterns of behavior can be very beneficial to you and promote new ideas, challenge old beliefs and give rise to creating new automated behaviors that better support and serve you and those you interact with.

As suggested earlier in the course, we cannot change or correct that which we are unaware of or cannot properly define.

This course is meant to be used for the next few years. As with any skill sets that get better over time the more you practice and use them this definitely applies here. 60 days is only the beginning of a new world of enhanced quality of life, prosperity, and peace of mind.

Have a great week.